A Little Late…Okay, A Lot Late

Oh Project Runway.

Disappointed head nod, with clucking

Christopher must be blackmailing someone.  There is no reason why he should still be haunting the poor, pitiful runway this cycle.  I can’t imagine that the producers are keeping him on for his personality.  Unless you count crying as personality.  I don’t.

Not only are his garments poorly made, but they can barely be called designs.  Four weeks in a row on the bottom, and every week they pass him over.  WTF.  And while I appreciate that the longer he stays the better my friend Megan does in her pool, he really has to go.  I can’t imagine what kind of JC Penny mother of the bride collection he would squeeze out through tears to the world at Fashion Week.  And I really don’t want to.

And I know a lot of people liked Irena’s cowl neck cow brown flashback.  I am not one of them.  It was a costume in one of the few challenges that didn’t explicitly ask for one.   Anyone else flash to an Austin Powers movie when it came down the runway? A peep hole back on a sweater, covered by a fur vest.  Think about that for a minute.  It will be cold in Aspen or Tahoe or whatever exotic locale Michael likes to go to in the winter, and you are wearing a cutout.  Not only is this just a general comfort and warmth issue, but a THO issue.  Can’t wear a bra with the giant cut out.  Perky though a young model’s tits may be, most people don’t like the headlights on high beam in mixed company.  But maybe the cowl neck was just big and hideous enough to cover the girls at attention.  And I like cowl necks.  Just not that one, with the Chewbacca vest.  Groan.

Hello…

Logan…

is this thing on?

Do you have a point of view, other than “I am adorable and that might just get me through this”?  He is all but invisible to the editors.  The only time he is on camera is if Carol Hannah is talking about how distracted she is by his cuteness.  I would like to be distracted more often by that cuteness, but they NEVER SHOW HIM.  I fear he will be auf’ed soon.  Well, he’ll have to be to keep Christopher around…(can’t you just see it:  the manilla envelope in Heidi’s car one day after the shoot…)

Who the hell picked this group of designers?  I want loud bitchy people!  Personalities that soak up all the oxygen!  Not passive aggressives, boys that cry,  and meth addicts.  I get enough of that at home.  Where is Santino with his spot on Tim Gunn impersonation?  Where is Christian with the catchy catch phrase?  Where is Wendy Pepper (and who the f*@% would have ever thought we would miss Wendy Pepper?)?

I Love the Runway.  I practically vibrate when they start the previews.  But I have never been less impressed.  I still don’t remember some of their names without prompting.  How does a group of designers with any talent and vision blow the Bob Mackie challenge!!!????  I could have put something more visually interesting out on the runway than this group!  When they allow you to go crazy, you don’t do another round of pretty dresses.  All they need now is a men’s wear challenge to really ratchet up the snooze fest.  Perhaps a flannel pajamas challenge?  Oh, I know…house coats!

Maybe it is something about the water, or the sand, or the good weather.  But L.A. and the Runway don’t seem to get along.   I fear I will have to write this off as the Lost Year and just count on witty Project Rungay banter to see me through (if you haven’t read “Tim Gunn is Tired of Your Bullshit“, you MUST)

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