Episode 2: The Dreaded Ass-Flap

Well, it looks like it’s time to separate the wheat from the chaffe.

Giggle, giggle.

Usually I will talk through the episode before talking about the results…butt…


What the?…Did she?…Is that?…Wha…

I don’t know about you, butt if you can sit and pee in it without any adjustments, it might be too revealing.  Maybe that’s just me.  There was NOTHING left to the imagination.  You won’t find this one on the rack and Farm & Fleet.

I told you Ping could be a disaster.  She proved me right so quickly!  There was nothing remotely interesting, fashionable, or technically proficient about this eyesore.  From the rosette on the front, to the uneven “parallel” lines going down the bodice, to the pelvic fins, to the ass flap;  nope, nothing even slightly redeeming.  The only thing I give her credit for is owning up to her mistake on the runway, instead of weaving fiction.

So, she was obviously auf’ed, right?  WRONG.  Apparently the judge’s lack of concern over hem lengths has reached new heights.  The judges did give her what for about it.   And to be fair, Mitchell (from the “lost season”) was allowed to stay on after sending his model down naked…

…which does take a little heat off the producers for obvious and gross interference with the show’s outcome.  So Ping’s sunny personality and ability to giggle like a little girl has kept her safe from elimination.

They sent Pamela home.  She made something you would find on the rack at Farm & Fleet:

in the slutty costume section (oh, sorry, they call it the sexy costume section).  She looks like a hooker working a grain silo.

The dye job was good: it really did look like denim.  And while it was trashy and immature, it wouldn’t get you arrested for public indecency.

So, yet another designer has been cut from the herd.  (Okay, okay, I’ll stop with the farm idioms.)

Your winner was Jay:

Pretty.  I liked the way the frayed edges made the burlap “feathery”.  I didn’t even mind that the bodice was unfinished.  Did it knock my socks off?  No.  But no one did.

I liked Anthony’s red bubble skirt dress, and almost teared up when Capt. Jack sent down a pair of pants.  Anorexic girl mixed things up a little by using a potato to make a print, an ugly print on a fairly forgettable dress, but a nice technique.

We learned:

– while you get chewed out for ass flaps, bear nipples warrant a second place finish and a little extra money spent on pixelating the little buggers out for prime time viewing.

-the Crier can make it through an entire episode without tearing up.  Good for her.

-Lauren Hutton is just too gorgeous a person to be real.

-Heidi thinks she is being cagey by changing the way she tells people they are in our out, but it is just really coming across as cruel.

-Who is Ben?  Every time his model comes down the runway I think “Oh, him.  They never show him.”  Capt Jack is getting the Logan edit as well.

-Tim Gunn on a farm is only slightly less adorable than Tim Gunn making biscuits.

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