Get Over Yourselves…

“The Night They Killed Figure Skating”…the blog headline by Elvis Stojko.

Such controversy over a silly sport.  True, a sport that many have dedicated their lives to, but silly nonetheless.

I have no interest in skating…I do not have to defend the way I skate, or my son skates, or how I want people to skate, blah blah blah.  I just watch it to see the crazy costumes and maybe see who wins.

I watched the men’s competition while seated at a bar with friends.  There was no sound, which made them all look slightly ridiculous, but we were enjoying ourselves.  We talked about how sad it was that we already knew who was going to win, because the judges had already decided that it would be the Russian.

We watched countless people blow the quad.  We saw a broken lace and some broken hearts.  But what I remember about watching Mr. Plushenko skate was that it was actually painful.  Not because he was falling, but because he looked like such an arrogant prick.  Granted, if I were one of the best ice skaters in the world I too might be an arrogant prick.  I actually had to turn away during many of the hip thrusts and “don’t you love me” sections of the program.  The stuff that wasn’t jumping was a joke.

Does that mean that Mr. Lysacek deserved to win?  I don’t know.  If it’s all about who can do the biggest jumps why have the music and costumes and crap?  Just put them all out on the ice, line them up, and see who can land the quad.  Done.  But if you are going to weight the judging so that the judges can just fiddle around until they can advance who they want, what’s the point?

This is an event in serious trouble.  We all know that the judges have colluded and made deals.   A couple of days  before the short program they all have breakfast and hash out who will be in the medals.   It makes watching the spectacle pointless and sad.

So this year they decided to give it to Mr. Plushenko , but then he was such a dick that they gave it to Mr. Lysacek.  I feel bad for both men.  Neither one could really win in the eyes of the public.  It was all about politics and predetermination.

Mr. Stojko goes on and on about how the sport is now going backwards.  Why should people train to do the quad if you don’t win for doing one in competition?  I wonder if Mr. Plushenko had won if people would be bemoaning the fact that all you have to do is land a big jump and you can win, no matter what kind of crap you use for filler in between.  I would never say that I am an expert on ice skating, but Mr. Plushenko’s routine was frantic and ugly when he wasn’t jumping.

It’s a watershed moment for this event.  Do you reward the athletes or do you reward the artists?  I have to say that they found a good middle ground in Mr. Lysacek.  This was a guy who did all the spins and hand gesturey stuff in the middle beautifully.  And his jumps were high and beautiful…even if he was lacking a quad.

But we all know that the middle ground rarely makes anyone happy.  So the experts and sportswriters will continue to bitch one way or the other.  The problem is that in the end, it ruins it for all of us average fans.

(Shout out to PR fans!  Mr. Lysacek’s costume had a snake about to attack his nipple!  Remind you of anything?)

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