Balls to the Wall…

Okay, okay, OKAY!  Here’s the PR post.  Sheesh, you would think there were more than just 8 people waiting to read this…

Before we begin, I have to comment on the bizah teaser ad situation last week.  The ads for PR all showed snippets of someone accusing someone else of stealing their design.  They played ominous music and showed everyone looking very serious.  But then, the episode came and went without any mention of said plagurism.  Nothing.  Nada.  Which begs the question, did they run the wrong teaser?  Or did they cut out all the “s/he copied my dress” stuff on the advice of legal.  There is no way to know until either the episode runs, or doesn’t run.

The challenge:  resort wear.  This was an opportunity for Michael Kors to charter a boat for the day and hand out aviator sunglasses that he “designed”.  Sorry to break it to you Michael, but the Navy beat you to it you self-promoting whore.

They were all a little “so what” about the challenge until it became clear that a velvet bag was coming into play.  That means teams.  That means trouble.

This time it meant that no one was going to sew their actual design.  Instead they would be the sample maker for another designer while overseeing the sample maker making their design.  Whew, that’s a mouth full.  Everyone quaked in silent horror waiting to see if they would be forced into being Rerun’s partner.  The honor went to Mondo, who instantly had a hissy fit and told Rerun just what he thought of him.  It was not nice, to say the least.  After getting the air all cleared, the two sat down and actually made a good team.  Mondo eventually ate his words about Rerun, and while we’re talking about eating could someone feed that boy?  He’s skinny enough to slide down the shower grate.

The other team of note was Christopher and Ivy.  What a f*cking b*tch.  A perfectionist with control issues, she just about suffocated poor Christopher.  She dumbed down her design so much out of fear for his lack of skill that there was no design.  All the while she hovered over poor Christopher like a psychotic hummingbird.

Other than that it was pretty snoozy.  Except of course when Casanova started talking about balls.

The Winner:

April

This is why the judges should never be allowed in the workroom.  While I appreciated her goth-baby doll point of view, I firmly believe the only reason she won was because she and Kors agreed she should take another shot at “April makes a diaper”.  He was so impressed with her being on the same Duchess wavelength that there was no way she was going to lose.

Andy…

…should have won.  How do I get a hold of this outfit (and the bod to pull it off)?  Holy crap I loved this.  Look at those colors!  Look at the fit!  Love love love.  This is someone who is ready for champagne on a yacht in Monte Carlo.  And I want to be her.

The also-ran was Christopher, which was interesting considering his partner was in the bottom.

I wasn’t really thrilled with this look.  Maybe it played better in person.  It was pretty and all, lots interesting going on up top.  But he benefited from Ivy’s outstanding construction and it’s hard to benefit from a partner still twisting in the wind.

Ivy was in the bottom with the colorless schmoo outfit.

Wow, could you get more zzzzzzz inducing than this?  I like the color, but there was so MUCH of it.  To use Nina’s favorite word, it was a little “sad”.  What was truly sad was the way Ivy hurled Christopher onto the third rail.  Even sadder is Heidi’s reliance on a certain idiom involving a mode of public transportation.  Enough!

The “skirt” was a joke.  The tank was only a tank.  True, Christopher said he wasn’t super confident in his pant tailoring skills, but he has made other, interesting garments.  She treated him like a Sewing 1 student.  A little trust would have gone a long way, baby.  And trashing your partner on the runway makes you look like a weasel.  You don’t want to look like a weasel on the runway, but maybe that’s just me.

Mondo also ended up at the bottom of the heap.  But unlike Ivy he had nothing but good things to say about Rerun.

There are fewer good things to say about this outfit.  It’s a little Junior like the Pope is a little Catholic.  My 12 year old niece could certainly rock this swimsuit.  The colors were too primary and too crazy.  I liked the idea, but it didn’t work.

As for poor Casanova…

I didn’t think it looked as old as the judges.  Does this really say seventy year old?  No, it doesn’t.  But it certainly doesn’t say resort either.  Unless you vacation at the library.  This was the time for Casanova to channel the slut/stripper aesthetic he showed in the first challenge.

Adios, Casanova.  No one could butcher English the way you could.

On to another episode.  I am noticing that the retrospectives on the auf’ed designer are getting longer the further we go.  Maybe 90 minutes is ambitious with just 9 designers.  At least their won’t be a team challenge next week:  odd number.


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