Jackie in the Park with Mesculin

I realize that I have gotten terribly lazy with the posts about the Runway.  I don’t know if I have simply lost steam, or if I really just don’t care about anyone this cycle.  It just might be a little of both.

Challenge:

Make something Jackie Kennedy would wear today.  Well, she would be about 80 years old today.  Unless they wanted elastic waists, ruffle collared shirts and various things that would hide incontinence unmentionables, I assume they meant outfits that a young and fashionable Jackie would wear should she travel forward in time to today.

It was an interesting challenge.  No one looked consistently better over her lifetime than Mrs. Kennedy (I am not sure why they left off the Onassis, but the producers did, so I will too).  PR bandies about the phrase “style icon” a little liberally, but in this case it’s true.

So what do you make to dress a woman of such grace and elegance?

Harem cargo pants?

I give Andy cojones points for putting this down the runway.  It was certainly “him”.  But there was nothing Jackie about it.  Nothing.

The fit was all wrong.  The crotchal region was all over the place.  And they all called him on it.  They also felt that the vest was “sad” (overused this cycle) and the top was ill-made.  Three for three.  But he made it through.

Quote of the decade:  “Jackie Kennedy would not have camel toe”.  I love Tim Gunn!

Maybe The Bridesmaid could pull out something better?

Oh honey, do you really see Jackie in a spandex skirt?  She probably didn’t know what a man-made fabric was, so I doubt she would allow one to grace her person.  The color palette was the same purply aubergine and grey that The Bridesmaid seems so fond of that nobody else likes.

The Bridesmaid made a coat, and then Tim Gunn told them they would need to make a complimentary outer wear piece for their look.  She couldn’t use the coat she had already made, so she was kind of screwed.  I don’t know what I would have done…does a hat count as  outer wear?  Instead of coming up with something innovative and interesting, she put a vest over the coat and the whole thing just turned out homeless hooker.

Hard to believe it got worse than that.  But it did.

Oh Michael.  Poor, sweet, delusional Michael.  Why would you create this garment?  Why would you create it for Jackie Kennedy?  Jackie O in a layered tank?  The former first lady in a drop waist curtain pleated skirt?  Was he high?  Doesn’t matter now:  He gone.

A quick aside… Coach, if you need any good pot luck main dish recipes I know a couple of doozies.

Christopher made the top with this little number

Wait…he made it to the top three with THAT?  Seriously, this was the outfit that the judges put in the top three?  This one?  Right here?

Wow.  There are so many things wrong with this I don’t even know where to start.  I don’t think the colors would have done anything for Mrs. Kennedy.  It was WAY too short, and had this weird scarf thingie coming off the one shoulder.  Don’t even get me started on the dead animal he bunched up around the model’s shoulders.  To me it looked like some kind of home made Xena costume.  Well, Halloween is coming up soon…

The top two were much better.  Much much better.

Ivy (aka LapDog)

While making sure to hold up her end of the bitch pole this week, Lap Dog found the time to make one hell of an outfit.  This was a beautiful, interesting pairing.  Even without the over-the-top Jackie O styling you could see the former first lady in this.

Beautifully made and just gob smacking stunning, this is her best garment yet.  I could take or leave the coat, though I did like her choice of color:  it broke up the severity of the black and white.

I liked the winner the best

Dear Mondo!  That sweet little waif of a boy has found his inner voice and started shrieking “I am here!”

This won not just because it was Jackie-esque, but because it was that and Mondo.  If we had known nothing about who made what, when that garment came out you would know it was Mondo’s.  And that was what this challenge was about.  Make it timeless, but make it yours.  Who else would think to pair those patterns?  But it works, because it fits perfectly and looks expensive.

Bravo, my darling.  Bravo.

I will try to be more timely this week.  But with the start of the new schedule for every show I like, I don’t see that happening. But I will try.