I spent most of last weekend on my ass. Literally.
In my quest for Kick Ass Gear, I decided at the urging of a friend to sign up for Derby Lite. Yes, it is roller derby. No, there is no pushing and shoving. As Lite implies, you are just learning how to skate and the basic rules of speeding around a circle with a passel of other women.
The gear is truly kick ass. I have the excuse to buy any obnoxious helmet I want. I need to decide on my Derby name (suggestions welcome) so I can figure out if I am going girly with my attire or if biker fishnet would be better. There are these giant pads that I think would keep my knees safe if I fell from the Sears Tower. The only problem is that I don’t fall forward onto those amazing pads…I fall on my ass.
I was the first beginner to fall. I like to think that I did it to take the heat off the other women, my new Derby sisters. But honestly, I haven’t been on quad skates since 8th grade, so I think that was really why. I went straight back onto my ass. I hope it was impressive, since I know for sure it was painful. Luckily my sisters got right on the bandwagon with me, and it looked like the prat fall Olympics in there.
I “learned” how to stop. I also learned that my legs are about as strong as Jello and I need to embrace squats at the gym again. I learned that I am not nearly as coordinated as I like to think I am. I learned that no one laughs at you when you look stupid (which is often), but you laugh a lot at yourself.
I almost made it to the end without falling again. Almost. With just minutes to go, I took a fall so impressive the coordinator actually emailed to check up on me the next day. You all know how I hate to be out done. I did manage to fight through the stars and tears to get back up and skate once more around the “rink”. Maybe that will be my only Derby victory, but sometimes the small ones are the most important.
So, even though I can barely sit here and write this post, I know that I will suit up next Saturday and try to feel comfortable on my skates. I will once again try a “t stop”, praying I won’t end up face first into the mats. After my tentative attempts last Saturday, I don’t know if I will ever end up with the Windy City Rollers, but if it was easy, everyone would be doing it…