Last night we went to see Earth at the LaGrange Theater. Ugh. What a nightmare.
First off, the theater is under renovation. This I could live with, if it had been mentioned on the website. Nothing. Zip.
Fine, so we head in and try to find the bathrooms so the kids can take care of business and wash their hands. No bathrooms. Oh, there are physical bathrooms, but last night they were not operable. Couldn’t even go in to wash your hands. “Go to the Cold Stone next door.” Seriously…once the movie starts and the kids have downed their large cokes, I am supposed to take them out of the theater to go to the bathroom. Sure, that will happen. I am sure that not having bathrooms is a health code violation, not to mention a huge imposition on the patrons. Make sure to bring extra money, after all restrooms are for customers only. This is something else that should have been mentioned before we bought our tickets.
And then there was the actual theater…where do I begin? The screen was not mounted or stretched correctly, so there were puckers at the lower right corner. And the screen was FILTHY! There was a giant smudge right in the middle of it, and the lower corner looked like someone had thrown a tar soda over it. My laptop screen is cleaner. This wouldn’t be a problem in, say, Terminator, where the movie is dark. But a lot of Earth takes place in the arctic, so every spot was not only visible, but annoying.
We were in theater 4. The room was so small that the walls of the theater touched the edges of the screen. The screen was mounted at least 8 feet off the floor, so even from the back we were looking up. And the fact that the illuminated exit sign was right under the screen didn’t help either. I don’t know if Earth was supposed to have surround sound, but it didn’t. James Earl Jones narrated like he was standing above the screen, and none of the music or animal sounds wandered from that spot. I’ve had better experiences watching documentaries on Discovery. And they just stuck the entrance door at the back of the room, so anytime someone got up to refill their popcorn (since we know they weren’t using the bathroom) the whole room was flooded with light. And they had the doors on some kind of slow close setting, so that the door took FOREVER to close.
We wanted boosters for the kids…they don’t have any boosters. We put our soda’s in the armrest cupholders…they have some funky hole in the bottom so the cup sits at a weird angle, seemingly about to topple over at any second.
Now I realize that I am only paying $3.50 to see the movie. But that should be because we took our sweet time to see it, not because we are getting a low standard in a new theater. We were so disappointed in the whole experience that when the kids got squirrelly and wanted to leave, we popped out of our seats and said “let’s go”!
So, if I were you, I would avoid the new LaGrange theater. You could call to see if the bathrooms are working, but I wouldn’t waste my time.