Don’t Tell Because it Hurts…

My head has been droopy all week.  This episode started on such a high note for me!  And then the bottom fell out…

Vivienne Tam is one of my favorite designers.  Ever.  She had a boutique in Hong Kong when we lived there, and it was one of the only places a big boned white girl like me could actually find formal wear that would fit.  So years ago I bought “the Mao dress”:

It is made out of some kind of miracle fabric that will fit anyone…and almost everyone I have known has worn it or at least tried it on.  It is famous in my circle for being at most weddings and important events.  Little did I know that it is actually famous.  The Mao dress is in the textiles collection at the Victoria & Albert museum in London.  Sweet.  So, now that you are all sufficiently impressed that I own a piece of real fashion history, we can move on.

The designers were given the chance to make their own textiles.  Kick ass, right?  Oh hell no people.  Hell no.  One would think if you were given the chance of a lifetime you would do a little more with it.  I wasn’t impressed with any of the fabrics to be honest.  I guess Maya’s was the best, but not in a strong class.  Mila’s was a joke…something my children would think was babyish.  Granted, I am not a fan of prints in general.

The Bottom

Mila:


Wait a minute?  I didn’t realize she had been costume designer for “That 70’s Show”?  The print was infantile and showed no artistic acumen whatsoever.  I mean, who would ever think of lines?  Oh, but wait, she did them in rainbow colors…original.  Come on!!!!  This is the best you can come up with?  Okay, maybe the grade school fabric could have been redeemed by some fantabulous design.  Nope.  Couldn’t come up with a damn thing other than an Old Navy maxi dress.  Must have dug deep for that one Mila.  And the model couldn’t even walk in it.  Shame.  Shame.  What was so perplexing was that she was so proud of it.  Did she really not know?

Jonothan:


Nice disco straight jacket.  Gotta give it to him, the fabric design was definitely him as a designer.  He took layers of color away, which is what he does all the time anyway.  This time, however, his fingers weren’t bleeding.  Though a little red…  Okay, the grey was a bad choice.  If he had chosen to play up the golden tones in the print he might have faired better.  The and the design didn’t do him any favors.  The dress was too structured.  The jacket was too strange.  Why on Earth would you design something you can’t put on by yourself?  That’s fine if it is something that you won’t be taking on and off during your date.  It is too close to Bryant Park to be making these types of rookie mistakes.  I agreed with the judges.  It was a little sad.  But I have to give the guy brass balls points for standing up for his textile.  You wouldn’t think he would have it in him, sassing off to Mr. Kors like that.  Bravo.

Anthony:


And this, this was truly sad.  The textile was trashy.  Purple and black…can anyone say bordello?  Another sweetheart neckline.  Another prom dress.  It looked a little too much like a strapless version of Emilio’s lead off win.  And it showed a lack of sophistication.  We all knew that this day would come.  I doubt anyone thought he would end up in Bryant Park, but it was nice to dream.  He took the aufing well, and God love him, was all smiles and good cheer on his way out the door.  Miss you sweetie!  All the best!!

The Top

Seth Aaron


Bitch can sew.  I swear he finished this up and had time for a root touch up before the runway.  I guess he and Geoffry share more than a penchant for black hair dye and rocker cliches.  I wasn’t a fan of the school bus yellow tie.  Nor was I a fan of the graphic novel print.  But the jacket was (again) perfectly tailored.  He needs to show me something new…I am getting bored.  And I wasn’t clear on why Jay’s chicken thigh pants were hated by the judges, but these weren’t.  Maybe they play better shiny.  I would be very surprised if S.A. doesn’t end up at Bryant Park.

Maya


The print was fine.  The dress was very snoozy.  The blocking was very 80’s and I didn’t appreciate the claustrophobic ruffle collar that seemed to wilt and die around her neck.  If there was innovation, I missed it.

Emilio


Don’t you just want to smack the guy?  First, he disses Tim Gunn.  No one puts Baby in a corner, you ungrateful boob!  “I don’t care what he says”?  Granted , things turned out all right for Emilio even though he ignored Tim.  But no matter how good you are you don’t just dismiss advice from someone who knows a hell offa lot more than you and only offers his advice to try and make you realize your full potential! raspberry noises To show what a slave to the corporate machine he is he made a print that was comprised of his name.  Not just initials like S.A., but the whole name…with a heart for the “O”.  What are we, in 4th grade? (Sorry Gracie, you would have more taste…)  The judges tripped over themselves loving this outfit.  I did like the jacket.  I’ll give him that.

If you suspect that my personal distaste for Emilio is coloring my attitude towards his designs… yes, yes it is.  And there is no one up to pushing him out of the top three.  Mila could be a surprise contender, assuming none of the remaining challenges involve color.  If Emilio has to make something other than a dress, we could see another epic fail.  But the producers have their hands in up to their elbows.  They’ll work the challenges so Emilio makes it.

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